The Mangy French Tagalong

D E A R A P P R E N T I C E

2010-06-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

There are two people I know, who I consider to be very good friends. In fact, I consider them brothers. But most of all, I consider myself unbelievably privileged to know them. Talking to them is a depressing thing, not because they are depressing people, but because they are hideously intelligent. You think you've got to grasps with a skill or subject, then you talk to them about it and find that actually, in comparison to them, you know next to nothing about it. They are my Stephen Fry's, they are my David Mitchell's. If I want confirmation on anything, I don't look in a book, online, or ask a teacher - I go to them. And not because I keep them on any kind of pedestal but because I have yet to hear them say something which isn't right.

(img: http://www.onelargeprawn.co.za/2009/10/07/dead-fly-art/)

A B E A U T I F U L P O E M , A B E A T I F I C S M I L E

2009-12-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

I am no great fan of poetry. This is probably because of the years I spent at school having to analyse the damn things, never being allowed to sit and enjoy the beauty of the words or the carefully yet accidentally chosen rhythm. Or possibly because, for me, a poem is like a piece of theatre, it is meant to be performed rather than read. Either way, yesterday whilst watching Four Weddings and a Funeral (yes, I am behind here...) I saw a performance of W.H Auden's Stop all the clocks which made my heart skip a beat.

G U I L T Y P L E A S U R E

2009-12-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

Box Codax are the band you know you shouldn't like. They are the so-called guilty pleasure.

And they definately don't deserve the title they often seem to be given; another one of Franz Ferdinand's side projects. From the moment you hear the opening line of Naked Smile, you know that Box Codax are probably about as close to insanity as you can be without actually being locked up. A far cry from the easily relatable lyrics of Alex Kapranos.

Still, your sandals are worth 1000 lilacs.

However, this only adds to their charm. They are almost Kraftwerk-esque with a deep, squelching synth acting as a bass, laid over the top of high pitched, almost tuneless lyrics and a heavy drumbeat. There is something about the way they pull together elements of different musical genres and just make them work that doesn't seem right.

Alexander Ragnew, Manuela Gernedel and Nick McCarthy know what they're doing. You might not have heard about them yet, but if Nick manages to get away from Franz Ferdinand for five minutes, i'm sure you will.

www.myspace.com/boxcodax

L O S T

2009-12-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last two years fighting a seemingly insurmountable language barrier. Desperately trying to show my peers and my teachers that I am actually, despite appearances, fairly intelligent. It's been nothing short of a nightmare, yet finally it seems that I am succeeding. In my recent Conseil de Classe (a meeting where all the teachers get together and have a good bitch about how much the students are failing. . .) the 'negative' comment I came away with made me laugh; she will write a page or two of faultless french, then she will write two or three lines which are completely incomprehensible. I am actually quite proud of this, as I think it sums me up as a person, I quite often talk sense - then come out with complete gibberish.
But having said all this (and I am not the kind of person who sits down and thinks 'fuck me, what am I going to do now?') I feel completely and utterly lost. I've been waiting for school to end for years, barely able to contain my excitement about getting out into the real world and doing something and thoroughly enjoying it. And everything else life has to offer. I hate the constraints of school - getting up early, following a timetable, sitting through a certain lesson no matter what mood you're in. Don't get me wrong, I adore learning but I can't wait to be free.

I just don't know what I'm going to do when I finally am.

I T ' S U P T O M E A N D Y O U T O P R O V E I T

2009-12-06T05:18:00.000-08:00

When I think of my future, I see a flat in Paris.
A friend and I, living together in a fabulous top floor apartment with a balcony. I see us getting up late, rolling onto the living room floor, putting on a vinyl and eating baked beans straight out of the tin for breakfast before throwing some clothes on and falling out the house to go shopping or to work.

Work would be nothing hugely challenging, but always thoroughly enjoyable. Djing in a club or gig venue, working in a shop like Shakespeare's or Noir Kennedy and the odd bit of freelance writing. Maybe even teaching English if we got our TEFL qualifications sorted out.

I don't think I could live like this forever, but I can certainly see myself living like this for a few years before I finally make up my mind about what to study at University, or have saved up enough money to go travelling. Life is extremely short and I don't see the point in doing anything for any longer than you're happy with it. This would probably bad advice to give an unbalanced induvidual, but personally, the moment I am bored I will pack my bags and move on.

I N S P I R A T I O N

2009-11-19T11:49:00.000-08:00

PLEASURE IN THE JOB PUTS PERFECTION IN THE WORK -- Aristotle.

Today I had History.

Today I was completely uninspired.

. . . And completely horrified.

Today I watched a teacher choose to argue with a student for 20 minutes, instead of answer their question.

He said he had ultimate power in the classroom.

Today I saw otherwise.

R E M E M B R A N C E D A Y

2009-11-08T15:55:00.000-08:00

When I think of Rememberence Day, I think of sitting in my Primary School assembly hall trying my best to imagine what it must of been like fighting in the war. It takes a long time and a lot of reflection to really understand what humanity loses in a war, especially what we lost in World War One. When I think of the First World War, I'm filled with sadness because it was, quite simply, mass slaughter.

In France, Remembrance Day is even bigger than in England. There is no 2 minute silence at 11 o'clock, instead it's a national holiday. So, whilst I was sitting at home watching the usual processions on TV and listening to the commentator saying that all soldiers from WW1 are now dead I began to wonder. . .

Why are there no German soldiers involved in the Remembrance ceremonies ?

When this question is considered carefully (and without bias), the only logical conclusion one can come to is that they should be there. The lower ranks in the German Army were not bad guys. They were following orders, just in the same way our men were. And I really do believe, that when someone is holding a gun to your head saying 'Kill or be killed', you'd pull the trigger of your own gun. You'd kill.

However, this isn't the only thing that got me, I realised something else and it hit home very hard. The Second World War was supposed to be the war to end all wars. And evidently it was not. As technology and ideologies have changed and developed war has become more frequent and more dangerous - one man could kill millions from pressing a button in his office. We, as a nation and as a world have become used to this fact and so are fairly blasé about the wars that have happened since the war which was to end all wars. And so we continue to celebrate the triumphs of our men without really acknowledging the warning Remembrance Day is supposed to give us. I can completely understand that in some cases, war is unavoidable but I do feel that we are forgetting why Remembrance Day is there, it's a lesson from ourselves to future generations, it's a message saying: War is bad. Avoid it if you can.

As I have grown up, Remembrance Day has taken on a new meaning to me, from the child that stood in the hall trying to imagine the mud, hunger, fear and disease I have become a young adult who reflects on how, from the beginning of time, men and women who should not have been fighting ended up in wars that should never have been allowed to happen. Remembrance Day has turned into a day where I ask myself, why.

L A C A G E A U X F O L L E S

2009-10-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

The Cage of Fools: Life is life so have a fucking ball living it.

Last weekend, I hopped over to London to celebrate my friend's 18^th birthday. Whilst I was there I quite fancied seeing a musical and, as I quite fancy John Barrowman, I managed to convince one of my nearest and dearest to come with me to see La Cage Aux Folles.

There is something about the atmosphere in a theatre that I can't get over, no matter what you go to see, be it in the West End or a local production, if the show is good you leave with a buzz. I think that audience feed off one another's energy just as much as the actors do.

Naturally James and I had bought the cheapest tickets we could and so ended up sitting on the uppermost level in the front row, in some of the most uncomfortable seats I have ever sat on. I didn't mind too much though because looking down on the people below me and listening to the hum that was hundreds of conversations going on at once, I suddenly felt excited about what we were about to see and just generally happy.

That was when I realised what La Cage Aux Folles meant to me. It was the moments like that, when, sitting with my friends, I was laughing about something inane like the toxic colour of the cider I had just bought or the bourgeoisie who were sitting in the very best seats of the house. (Obviously, this is a joke, we appreciated that most of them would have been spending hard earned cash on those tickets and we laughed all the harder for it.)

There were several moments during the musical where I absolutely cracked up. Nearly every time my favourite character, Jacob, did something. . .

"You hired a waiter and you got a maid."

He was gorgeously flamboyant and bitchy.

Then of course there is the classic scene where Albin is trying to act like a stereotypical straight man. This was the only part of the musical i'd seen before, but I had watched the film version, which is completely different to the stage performance. In any case both interpretations were equally funny and John Barrowman and Simon Burke pulled it off beautifully. Just try to imagine a pair of grown men throwing themselves clumsily and camply across a stage whilst a bar owner and a fisherman watch sceptically. It makes for some serious entertainment.

However, the reason I really laughed was James. Towards the end of the play there is a fairly serious scene where Mr. Dindon (a right-wing politician who wants to close down all clubs like La Cage) is being chased by a transvestite. Now, this may sound comical but in the context of the play, it is not. Mr. Dindon hides under a table and then, just as the table was being pulled off him, James mutters to me:

Death by transvestite, that’s how I want to go.

I N T E R V I E W : M O D E L F O R M E M O R Y

2009-05-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Model For Memory is the brainchild of Robert Gardner a.k.a Ed Electrode, a young man who lives in the South of England.
He says that MFM was: BORN OUT OF A LOVE OF THE MINIMAL IN 2007 TO PROVIDE SOUNDS RANGING FROM ICE COATED MINIMAL ELECTRONICA TO SHUDDERING REVERBED WALLS OF NOISE.
He has been creating music for three years but has just kickstarted his live career playing at Worship in Shoreditch Church alongside the likes of Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man and Selfish Cunt. He is set to play at 1-2-3-4 festival this summer.

You are Model for Memory and recently you played a gig at Shoreditch's Worship festival which is legendary in it's own right, how was that for you?
For me it was an amazing experience. I performed in a sonically unique and inspiring environment, met fascinating people and was on a list of bands that are due to go down in history, along with the festival itself.

I hear since Worship you have been asked to play 1-2-3-4 festival, this festival could potentially make or break your career. How do you feel about the pressure you'll be under to deliver a good show and how did you handle it at Worship?
Hmm, that's a hard one, you just have to practice enough until it becomes second nature, then on top of that you can go crazy. I think the sound that I produce at 1-2-3-4 will be different in referral to the audience and the venue.
At Worship, being my first live outing, I was terrified, but you kind of hide behind the sound to begin with, gauge the reactions of the crowd and base the performance on that.

Your music is dark, compelling and sometimes terrifying, what inspired you to make this sound and how do you go about it? Do you have a particular process when writing songs?
Well, I experiment with sound a lot and if i'm not happy with even one factor in a piece of music, I won't finish in it and it goes onto the scrapheap. The way I craft sound is mainly through analogue synthesis, sampling and working closely on drum beats etc. I suppose it's a bit of a free for all, for example, if i'm messing around and I hear even one tiny sound which sounds right out of hundreds that i'm experimenting with then that is the focus for me and I work from there. I use a lot of effects as well.

You always seem to be dressed well, is this just coincidence or do you spend time making sure you look right for the role you are playing as MFM?
The image of the performer is the image that the crowd take away and associate with you. I put quite a lot of thought into it and dress to the music. But as a personal rule of thumb, I am always well dressed. A day badly dressed, is impressions wasted.

I take it you are a strong believer in first impressions then?
Absolutely. Those first seconds are important, and more often than not, you can't change them. This is why I get so annoyed when other musicians are so closed off to other musicians. If you want people to think you are pretentious and bigger than you really are, then make yourself inaccessable.

What about in day to day situations? When you encounter friends of friends and so on?
Even then it's just as important to make sure you are who you are and not to cover that up. You're more likely to be liked for who you really are, rather than your "first impressions persona", which can often be quite intimidating.

You have several sideprojects, who are they and do they bare any similarities with MFM? Tell us all.
I have several side projects. I've got Les Garcons Morts but I don't think it sounds at all like my work as MFM, however it retains some of the elements, it can be dark and fairly sinister and some of the motives behind songs come from similar inspiration. Next is Massacro Favoloso.We started out as a DJing outfit, but we now have plans to produce some beautiful coldwave/minimal synth stuff.

You believe in accessibility for fans when it comes to bands they love, if you became as famous as some bands and people are, and had to spend all your time doing intense touring, constantly stopping for photos and autographs and had the paparazzi following your every move, how will you cope? And how will you continue to be the nice guy?
Honestly, I don't really know the answer to that one. In a nutshell the best thing to do is to treat a fan like a friend, because they are gonna be pretty put out if someone they look up to is a total arse to them.
The Paparazzi is a different story, if i want to be photographed then so be it, but if i was in a situation where I was really not in the mood or i was stressed, then i would be pretty angry.

Now for a pretty generic question, influences? But not just bands, films, people, books, parties... ? Where band's are concerned, the range is very wide. My original motivation for starting electronic music was Throbbing Gristle, Kraftwerk, D.A.F and Suicide. Weirdly im influenced by places a great deal. Walking home late at night down a street lit by clinical orange lights, and the inspiration is right there. Where films are concerned i was majorly enthralled by Fritz Lang's Metropolis.. Eraserhead, Blue Velvet etc.
The austerity of Kraftwerk appeals to me the whole strong image, but i'd only ever use that on an album cover. Playing live, i feel like vaulting around the stage like a crazed technician.
Right, I think that's about it, any wise words for our readers, anything else you want to add?
Never be afraid of critics, adversaries or people who think they are superior to you.

Thankyou very much for your time Robert!

To hear some of Model For Memory's songs go to:
www.myspace.com/modelformemory
And don't forget to look out for him at this year's 1-2-3-4 festival!

F O R O N C E A S I M P L E , ( U N ) T H O U G H T P R O V O K I N G B L O G

2009-04-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

The two week break from college was nice and tranquil.
It's all go again now though - back to the old routine where sleep is scarce and days are long. I hate getting up in the mornings but my teachers are so rarely at college themselves that we get to spend a lot of time doing exactly as we wish which is v. agreeable, especially since the weather got better. Nothing better than a cold drink, a blanket (or coat) on the grass to sit on and a good book. When I can be bothered I even walk as far as the canal, it's the perfect place to go, away from absolutely everyone.

The holidays passed a bit quickly in all honesty, friends came over and we made some music (listen here: www.myspace.com/lesgarconsmorts if you so wish, although i don't think the new recordings will be up just yet... they need editing). We also played our first ever gig which went splendidly, despite problems with a brand new amplifier exploding. I broke the old one by standing on it, it makes a crackling noise whenever you put sound through, something that is beautiful for vocals but definately not for the guitar.

I brought some of dad's old paintings in from the garage the other day and although they're not anything amazing I quite like them ... and there's one of that really creeps me out, to the extent i'm considering putting it back. As a whole there's nothing that strange about it, it is a scene from a party, lots of people standing around socialising with glasses of wine &etc. but the faces are strangely shaped and blue. And there is one character with the most enormous eyes. It's something about those eyes that just sends shivers down my spine.

over and out.

T H I N G S D O N ' T S E E M S O S T R A N G E W H E N Y O U S T A R E I N T O T H E S U N

2009-03-23T08:48:00.001-07:00

Protest / Riot / Coffee
Crisis In Taste / Worship / Quiet world at 4am

P R E S E N T I N G . . . G A L L O N D R U N K

2009-02-10T02:53:00.000-08:00

Being the music lover that I am I thought it was time I told you about one of my favourite bands.

Gallon Drunk are one of those bands who don't care to follow each musical fad and trend. When they play, they're playing the way they know how to and the way they always have done. James Johnston (Gallon Drunk's frontman) may be the only member left from the original line-up but he knows how to make sure his band don't lose their individual sound or spectacular perfomance. But how does he do it? He makes sure that when his band plays they are playing for themselves and their fans, that they're playing because it's what they love to do and nothing else.

They formed in 1990 and since then every single they have released has made it to Single of the week in either NME or Melody Maker. The band's frontman James Johnston has even collaborated with Nick Cave and become one of his Bad Seeds. They are a band who are undeniably cool yet lack the media attention they deserve.

Critics claim that GD do little more than 'rip-off' the style of Nick Cave but they are wrong, these bands are two completely seperate entities. Whilst Nick Cave's music is angry, agressive and heavily layered, GD's music is dark with an electric atmosphere.

Draggin' Along is one of the first songs they wrote and my absolute favourite, it shows just what this band were capable of right at the outset. It's a song which makes your heart beat at an unsteady rythmn as the sound courses through your veins. The melody is in the lyrics which are broken up by bursts of screechy, distorted guitar improvisation and while the drum beat is simple, it holds the song together and keeps the entire sound tight - it is the constant.

Their most recent single Grand Union Canal is a slightly more obvious song, as it is gentler and less obscure but that doesn't make it any less brilliant. Unlike many bands, Gallon Drunk have the capacity to write a song which appeals to a larger audience without becoming completely mainstream. They are unique and they want to keep it that way.

They're a band who have been around a long time, which makes me think that they must be doing something right but all I can recommend to you, is that you go and listen for yourself!

www.myspace.com/gallondrunk

V E R Y V E R Y N E W , T O V E R Y V E R Y O L D , T O V E R Y V E R Y O B S C U R E A N D V E R Y V E R Y F A M O U S

2009-02-10T02:39:00.001-08:00

On my record player today:

Love Like Blood - Killing Joke
Lose Control - Missy Elliot
Ulysses - Franz Ferdinand
Les Garcons Morts - Les Garcons Morts
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Astronauts and All - Foals
Pocket Calculator - Kraftwerk
Whatever happened to a Saturday Night - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
I wanna Die - Adam Green
The Libertine - Patrick Wolf
Blue Monday - New Order
Last Night Honey - Arthur
Draggin' Along - Gallon Drunk

R O S S R E T U R N S T R I U M P H A N T L Y T O T V

2009-01-24T05:37:00.000-08:00

About bloody time.

An end brought to a situation that just went too far.

A S O N D A Z E D A N D C O N F U S E D ( B Y M E )

2009-01-10T10:42:00.000-08:00

Living in London for fifteen years, I grew up in an area where music has a very strong cultural impact. It gives people a sense of identity, the music you listen to has an impact the clothes you wear, the way you speak and the way you behave in society in general. London is strongly divided by this musical culture and anyone would be a fool to say that they can’t see it. The way youths dress today derives strongly from what bands they like. This might seem quite a dated way to judge people but it’s not; it makes sense. Having come from such a strong cultural background I was somewhat sceptical about the kind of music I would find when I moved to rural France. However, I quickly learnt that if anything, French kids know more about what they are doing than the mainstream music reviewers give them credit for.

When I arrived in France I was shocked by the cultural difference between my very rural school and where I went before and so I went looking for something that I could relate to, a scene which would make me feel less alien in this seemingly very conservative part of France and I found it in a town called Saint-Lô, a place with a thriving music scene. People my age in Saint-Lô know what they like and have a strong sense of style. The town’s main venue ‘Le Salle Normandy’ has in the past had well-known bands playing (including Foals and The Cribs) but mainly plays host to unknown bands from around the area. These bands are the gems.

Befriending a guy named Valentin at a Foals gig I learnt that not only was ‘Le Salle Normandy’ the venue to be at every weekend, but that his band The Guest were something special. My weekly jaunts to Le Normandy led me to see many other bands and to meet many more people involved in this slowly growing underground scene. I was discovering that whilst French mainstream music may be lacklustre (Les Shades, Gush...) the local bands being allowed to support these big acts steal the glory. One of these supporting bands called The 60th Underground is a band who is a good example of this 60s scene not only through their music, but their clothes – think Carnaby Street in the 1960s. The 60th underground are not dissimilar to The Guest in stage presence and energy, however, their secret weapon is not a Farfisa Organ but a saxophonist and a ‘Bez,’ also called Valentin, his presence on stage is compulsive viewing. His main role seems to be clapping, hitting a tambourine/cowbell and dancing for about 40 minutes, non-stop. He is high energy, epitomises everything that is right and cool about this scene. Another group gaining a solid fan base here is Les Kitschenettes, seeing them live at a small bar tucked away in the bottom corner of Saint-Lô (small bar, BIG band), there is no word to describe the power of their music; short 60s songs, which are energetic yet controlled and perfectly executed.But don’t take my word for it, come and see them yourself.

S T A N D U P F O R W H A T Y O U B E L I E V E

2008-12-12T09:33:00.001-08:00

Not all that long ago, I came to live in France.

This was more of a culture shock than you can possibly imagine, in some ways a good and in others, frankly horrifying.

I am going to ramble about one of the 'good shocks' today.

I'm going to start by doing some MAJOR stereotyping and say that in England most people who really care about their education end up in a top state school, a grammar school or a private school (however, i am aware this is not always possible). Baring that in mind, I am going to continue stereotyping and say these children, by going to these kind of schools, are showing that they care for their education. Why? Because in England the difference between your average state school and a private school is collosal.

Then we move to France where all schools are pretty much equal. The difference between a private school and a public school here is that, in a private schools you pay couple of hundred euros a term for the priveledge of more rules and less frequently absent teachers.

So, I've come to France and am going to school and suddenly everyone's getting angry. Why?
'La reforme de Darcos.'

It's an educational reform which is going to change the secondary schools here and as far as most of the pupils and some of the teachers are concerned, not for the better. So i went along to their meetings, which were heavy, people standing in front of room of fellow students, spouting their politcal opinions - some getting booed for it, to find out what this reform was about.
I listened carefully to what they had to say, thought about how this doesn't really happen in England or at least i'd never seen or heard of anything like it and thought to myself that frankly, these 'kids' (if you like) really cared and at the same time, had their heads screwed on the right way.
In general, these meetings were about a protest which was to be held one afternoon and even the students that thought we should wait for the reform to be implemented before we made any kind of protest were making some sound points.
But essentially the students weren't happy and why? Because this reform is going to be active from September 2009 and the official version hasn't even been published yet. As was pointed out several times, how are we supposed to show we're unhappy about something which is in the reform, if we don't know exactly what it consists of yet? Aside from, the cutting down on hours (a good thing, french pupils have some of the longest schooling hours in the world), the cutting down on the number of teachers (a bad thing) and the prioritising of certain pupils based on what baccalaureat they take (another bad thing).

After a series of long discussions it was decided that a protest needed to be held in town and it did. At about 1 o'clock last Wednesday afternoon several hundred pupils turned up to make banners and at 10 to 2 we left the school to block off the town and make people listen.
I say WE because I too was involved, with an opportunity to be heard, with an opportunity to make people listen that wouldn't end in some disastrous event (here i look to the current riots in Greece) and with it all being legal, I thought, count me in. These teenagers are clever and more importantly than that; They're right.

F A M E , F O R T U N E A N D I M P O L I T E N E S S

2008-11-18T14:02:00.001-08:00

In recent months I have met several famous people, the nicest of them being those who have only recently been thrown into the public spotlight, the rudest he who had known a large success for a few years.

I am by no means attempting to imply that fame and fortune make a person impolite, in fact this blog will simply incorporate the three subjects and say 'just because your rich or famous or both, doesn't mean you can act like a wanker.'

You needn't bother reading further really.

I bumped into a celebrity the other day and frankly I was astonished, I could understand his frustration at people coming up to him in the street but not his manner of dismissing us. If it were not for his fans he would not be where he is today and so, whilst he may have been in no mind to sign anything he could've said 'sorry but i really cannot sign anything for you right now, but thanks for stopping to say hello' instead of 'you've got to be kidding me'.

Aside from my annoyance that someone i had previously greatly respected had been so incredibly rude it got me thinking, if someone i didn't know had spoken to me like that in the street i wouldn't of stood for it, so why would I take it off him? And why had the person with me then proceeded to congratulate him on the previous nights performance (a compliment to which he did not even utter a thankyou in return.)

Reading Jonathan Ross's book cleared that up for me, people hold celebrities on a pedastool. They shouldn't but they do. People give them more leeway because.. well who knows why. My main theory is that a person who knows all of a celebrity's work may begin to think that they know them. And you tend to give friends and family leeway.

T H E B R I T I S H M E D I A

2008-11-11T14:18:00.000-08:00

A subject which has always irritated me, but caused me to positively explode when i read the following headline:

Could a pint of milk cost £5.35 by 2018?

Could you be a bigger fucktard?

The predicted figure is the result of an analysis by Norwich Union.

The woman who wrote this article, Emma-Lou Monthgomery does save herself in the paragraph following Norwich Union's shocking claim, by noting that these figures are meant to do exactly that, shock. However, shock induces mass hysteria and when people are hysterical they do stupid things, like make decisions based on an article published on the internet (note the irony).
The media also do that wonderful thing, where they blow everything out of proportion.

Like, in case anyone hadn't noticed, 'the depression' in England isn't actually that bad?

The public has been overcharged for goods for a very long time. Whether anyone noticed or not is completely irrelevant, because no-one did anything about it. This is just as well considering the recent cock up made by the world's greediest banks. Thanks to our consumerist generation and the people who saw the profits to be made from us, we were being charged ludicrous amounts for simple things like a loaf of bread and because of this, when the banks went and ruined our oh so perfect economy, shops were able to lower prices without suffering any great damage to them personally (or at least their profits), which means the public could keep spending.

But thanks to our media, people have stopped spending, the no.1 DON'T when the economy has gone a bit 'spazzy'. You keep spending, you keep putting money into the economy, and then you get to keep a nice, healthy, balanced economy. Also meaning all those nasty mortgages would sort themselves out again too - You'll pay them off faster.