Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Lost

I have spent the last two years fighting a seemingly insurmountable language barrier. Desperately trying to show my peers and my teachers that I am actually, despite appearances, fairly intelligent. It's been nothing short of a nightmare, yet finally it seems that I am succeeding. In my recent Conseil de Classe (a meeting where all the teachers get together and have a good bitch about how much the students are failing. . .) the 'negative' comment I came away with made me laugh; she will write a page or two of faultless french, then she will write two or three lines which are completely incomprehensible. I am actually quite proud of this, as I think it sums me up as a person, I quite often talk sense - then come out with complete gibberish.

But having said all this (and I am not the kind of person who sits down and thinks 'fuck me, what am I going to do now?') I feel completely and utterly lost. I've been waiting for school to end for years, barely able to contain my excitement about getting out into the real world and doing something and thoroughly enjoying it. And everything else life has to offer. I hate the constraints of school - getting up early, following a timetable, sitting through a certain lesson no matter what mood you're in. Don't get me wrong, I adore learning but I can't wait to be free.

I just don't know what I'm going to do when I finally am.

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